October 26, 2007

• When I first came home from the hospital, I was terrified.  Terrified that they hadn't gotten all the cancer, terrified I wouldn't be there for my children, terrified to lose the man I'd finally found who loved me right back, terrified that I'd have to go through this all over again.  In doing research on my type of cancer, survival rate at 5 years is 60%.  That scares the hell out of me and worries me all over again but TODAY I'm grateful.  Grateful to be alive and even if I only live 3 years (which I won't, I'm too damn ornery to go that soon) I know that every day is a gift and I'm learning to look through new eyes again and to appreciate everyone and everything.

  
  

  *   My hunny came home today with a Sitz Bath a padded toilet seat and some ouchie cream and the
       Dragonology book
  *   My kitten came and curled up beside me in bed.  She senses when I'm in pain or upset and she'll come and
       lay with me. Today she spent all day with me.
  *   I watched my kitten chase a fly and it was adorable.
  *   My daughter came in and just cuddled with me. She didn't ask if she could go or make small talk, she came in
      and held me and was just "with" me for as long as I needed.  

  
  

  Everyday is a gift and I'm grateful for each person I come into contact with and for each day I'm given.  In the end I might not have as many as the next guy but I'll know that I've lived each day up to that point to the fullest extent and with the most love, appreciation, patience and understanding that I can have.

  • 11:50 pm
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