January 6, 2009

  • My story is..... HERE


    Unfortunately the website required a sign in so I've copied and pasted my story below.  This is from the Cancer Survivor's Network which is my "support group" so to speak.


    MoonDragon's Moon

    About MoonDragon

    Joined on

    June 16 2005

    Most Recent Activity

    Friday 01 02 2009

    My relationship to cancer

    I have had a cancer diagnosis
    I am no longer in treatment for cancer
    I have had a cancer recurrence or metastasis
    I lost a family member to cancer

    Gender

    female

    Age Range

    40-49

    Personal web page

    MoonDragon's Moon

    How and when did you learn about your cancer?

    I was diagnosed with colon cancer in January of 2000. I'd been bleeding and having symptoms that I flat out ignored for the past 7 years. When I couldn't ignore it anymore I had a sigmoidoscopy done in December of 1999. The tumor pretty much jumped up and shook my hand. I then had a colonoscopy to see what lurked around the bend. Fortunately it was just the one tumor. I had my tumor removed on January 11, 2000. I named her Carol after my really nasty boss.I was told at that time that no radiation or chemotherapy were necessary. I wonder now if that was true?
    ****
    Update October 2007
    My Cancer has returned in the very same location as the first tumor. I am now resting at home after my second resection. I am very uncomfortable and body functions are not resuming to normal working order.
    ****
    Update February 2008
    The night before my last chemotherapy session: more cancer was found in my Gallbladder on the inside, so it was not considered a metastasis but another entirely new cancer site.
    ****
    Update January 1, 2009
    I am no longer in chemo or radiation. I had two major surgeries within a 4 month period of time and it was pretty touch and go for awhile. I'm now happy to say that I'm doing much, much better. I've had several CT/PET scans with no new evidence of disease and my CEA has gone from a 2.2 to a 0.5. I have my next set of blood tests at the end of the month. In the research I've done, I would normally have a 63% chance of survival in the next 5 years. My oncologist has knocked it down to a 50% due to the Gallbladder cancer. I don't care. If I'm here, I'm here, if I'm not, I'm not and it's the quality of what I do with the rest of my life that matters, not how long it is. I could live 60 years and do nothing with my life, I could live 4 years and make a difference in a lot of lives. Which is more important? I think we all know!

    Do survival rates and time really matter at all?

    I've come to realize in my journey and watching the journey of my now deceased best friend, Bud Harbarger (Bud Martin to those of you who know him here), that time really does not make any difference at all. When it's your time, it's your time and no prediction of survival rate matters at all. Bud was in the final stages of his cancer and 3 months before he passed away he had a really bad RV accident. The doctors said he shouldn't have lived through it. He did live through it only to pass away 3 months later. He said to me, "Meg, I thought my last living memory was going to be of all my Jelly Bellys swirling around my head as I tumbled through the RV." He did indeed live to bless us all with 3 more months of "Bud". All the research in the world isn't going to make a bit of difference if it isn't your time. I used to really stress about the amount of time that I had left and the fact that I have 6 children that would ultimately be left behind, but in the end none of that matters. If it's not my time, no amount of cancer is going to kill me. If it's my time it could very well be the cancer that kills me, or quite possibly something else. Just because I battle cancer doesn't mean it's a death sentence. It might be the means to the end and it might not. I might die next week or I may die at 108. I'll die when I'm meant to die and not a moment before then just as Bud did.

    What has been the most important part of my cancer recovery?

    Giving back, plain and simple. I lost EVERYTHING in the last two battles of cancer. I lost my home, my children had to go and live with relatives, my pets went to friends and family, my material comforts got packed up and sent to storage, both my vehicles were repossessed, we literally lost everything. Through this entire time of Hell on earth I was without a doubt watched over. My friend offered my husband and I her spare bedroom, people we didn't even know were making monetary donations and offering the use of their vehicles. I went through chemo and radiation on an airmattress but I had a roof over my head!!! When I hit a certain point in my recovery, I knew it was time to give back. I've been doing volunteer work with the American Cancer Society and have had the most awesome emotional rewards I could have ever had. I was too sick from my own treatment to be able to work at some of the events, but the support from the people involved was a blessing I hadn't counted on. Ultimately I'd like to find a cancer victim that needs a helping hand. I know I couldn't have gotten through it without my husband and there were days I could barely lift my head let alone make it to the bathroom without help. I want to help someone that doesn't have anyone. Do their shopping for them or light house cleaning or something that they can no longer do for themselves. I've found that giving back has ultimately been a hugely important part of my own recovery.

    What have you learned from your experiences that you would like to share?

    We have one life to live and there are no coincidences and there are no second chances. Don't hold back. Be yourself, be there for someone else, look life in the eye and give it your best shot, no holds barred!

    Are there positive experiences you would like to share?

    I've learned what I can give to others. I learned that I have a valuable gift in being a survivor and that I can share myself with you. That's all I've got, just myself, but I'm yours.

    What else would you like to tell us?

    The hardest thing I've ever had to do was sit down with my 14 year old son and tell him that I was going in for cancer surgery, that I had no idea of the outcome, no idea if I was going to be here in 3 months, 6 months, a year or more. I wanted him to know everything from the very beginning. If he was going to have to grieve, I wanted to be there to help him through whatever I could. I can't tell you how fortunate I feel to be given the gift of another breath for another day with another hug for my kids, my family and my friends. **** The above was from the first battle. My answer has stayed the same with the last two battles. That 14 year old child is now 23 and it was no easier to tell him the last two times. I never told my younger children the first time around but I had to tell them this time. There is nothing that changes or mitigates that heartwrenching moment. It is what it is.



    For the record: I HATE the editing box they're making us use now. It's crap compared to the old one. Just thought you'd all want to know!

     


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