He called her on the road
From a lonely cold hotel room
Just to hear her say I love you one more time
But when he heard the sound
Of the kids laughing in the background
He had to wipe away a tear from his eye
A little voice came on the phone
Said daddy when you coming home
He said the first thing that came to his mind

Im already there
Take a look around
Im the sunshine in your hair
Im the shadow on the ground
Im the whisper in the wind
Im your imaginary friend
And I know Im in your prayers
Oh Im already there

She got back on the phone
Said I really miss you darling
Dont worry about the kids theyll be alright
Wish I was in your arms
Lying right there beside you
But I know that Ill be in your dreams tonight
And Ill gently kiss your lips
Touch you with my fingertips
So turn out the light and close your eyes

Im already there
Dont make a sound
Im the beat in your heart
Im the moonlight shining down
Im the whisper in the wind
And Ill be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh Im already there

We may be a thousand miles apart
But Ill be with you wherever you are

Im already there
Take a look around
Im the sunshine in your hair
Im the shadow on the ground
Im the whisper in the wind
And Ill be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh Im already there
Oh Im already
There

Driving along the beautiful scenic highway on Lake Couer D'alene, I chuckled casually as I mentioned to the man beside me that my fingers had been so cold that afternoon that my fingertips felt like they'd all been burned. They felt as though I had touched them to the side of a hot pan......not that I would really know what that would feel like given my passionate distaste for cooking, but nonetheless, I recalled distant and faraway memories of such occassions.

The graying old man in a dying man's body looked at me in concern. "You do realize that the feeling of a burn is a prelude to Frostbite?"
We'd been traveling along the lake, enjoying a lesisurely drive and stopping along the way for me to take pictures. The last place we'd stopped had been a haven for texture and contrast, two of my favorite fabrics in the interwoven tapestries of nature. No one can combine color, texture, contrast and style and wear it as beautifully as nature herself. Pristine snow on stark, green trees, waves lapping gently on the lake only to combine with rigid ice and powdery snow along the shores. My long-time friend pulled the car to the side of the road so I could take pictures. Lost in the beauty and incatricy of nature, I forgot about how cold it was until my fingers hurt so badly through my gloves that I finally paid attention to them. "Just a few more minutes, just a few more mintes," I kept telling myself. When I could no longer move my fingers to push the buttons on my camera, I decided to have Marty take a few pictures of me. Numb feet, numb hands and numb butt from sitting on the icy railing, we piled into the car and continued our drive, stopping at a local cafe for coffee and tea and finally back into the car again; where I was informed of the possibility of impending Frostbite had decided to let nature tempt me further in attempting to caputure her beauty in time any longer.

"Um, maybe now is a good time to mention that I can't feel my big toe on my right foot and haven't been able to since we first stopped?"
"Can you feel your other toes and the toes on your other foot?"
"Yes, it's just that one toe. I'm assuming it's just numb but my other toes have been fine since I warmed up. I just figured this was a slow one!"
"Not if you can't feel it and all the others are fine. It's been over 2 hours since we've stopped and you still can't feel it and your other fingers and toes feel burnt. Get your boot and your sock off immediately and let me see it."  He proceeded to turn up the heater full blast and show me how to rub my foot and toes to return the circulation. Marty had lived in Alaska for about 6 years before returning to the Lower 48 for more Cancer treatment. "You do realize just how close you've come to seriously injuring your feet?"
I hadn't but I do now. Apparently I was seriously considering courting Frostbite without realizing it. That was rather scary, infact moreso to me than the airplane scare I'd had when landing in Spokane earlier in the week.

We were coming in for landing and I could see the runway looming closer and closer below me. It was miday and the snow gleamed and sparkled on the tarmac. I love to fly and I especially love the takeoff and landing. I love the change in the engines, both the powerful surges and the sounds they make. We were almost to the ground when suddenly we pulled straight back up into the air at a steep incline. It obviously wasn't the norm and it wasn't long before the pilot's voice announced over the intercom that we'd had a slight problem with our landing gear and would be attempting to land again. Apparently one of the flaps had picked up moisure when we left Seattle and frozen in the air. The flap didn't come up when the landing gear was engaged and we weren't slowing down nearly fast enough to make the landing. After the pilot's announcement the whole plane was abuzz with tittered whispers and nervous glances at our fellow seatmates. One can only assume that they were thinking the worst. Oddly enough I wasn't frightened. I was secure in the knowledge that we would be landing shortly and be just fine. Maybe a premonition or maybe the knowledge that we were close to the ground and although what could be a serious problem could also be solved in other ways, one of them by circling very slowly and making an elongated landing in which the plane eventually slowed enough to stop with the speed, distance and remaining functioning landing gear. The captain came on again shortly and announced that we would be circling the airport and attempting the landing from a different altitude, speed and direction, hoping to force the flap up with the air currents and pressure. We landed just fine, the passengers broke out into applause for the captain, a safe landing and secure in the knowledge that they were alive to get off the plane and on with their life.

And life goes on....................some hot soup sounds really good right about now! Thank goodness it comes in microwaveable cans and I don't have to consider the possiblity of actually touching what a hot pan might feel like! I can continue my descriptions in memory of yesteryear!

You KNOW it's cold outside when you slip and fall on the ice and don't even feel it because your body is so numb!!

Last night was 8 below and now it's 10 degrees out.

I slept in Doug's down jacket last night.......without Doug in it!

lol

As of tomorrow, I'm off to Idaho for just under a week.  I'll be going to visit my terminally ill friend in Coeur D'alene.

Wishing you all well while I'm gone.

)O(

Namaste

My hunny's son, Clint, Larry, who is Chloe's date to the Winter Formal at his High School, my daughter Chloe and my son, head always in the clouds, at the end.

Lots of fun to be had that night and the night ended too soon!

I love this pic! Larry and Chloe

I only know who 2 of these women are and I have been told that I look like Celine Dion before but I never believed it. I was really surprised when her name came up. I've also been told I look like Meryl Streep more than a few times but the picture I submitted doesn't show much of the cheekbones or shape.  Silly fun!

Time flies by...
Years drop off...
I close my eyes and you are here...
I reach out but you are just a memory...
Evasive in the fog...
I follow the mist and find...

The echoing emptyness...
Roaring through the halls...
I skim the walls of a house once alive...
Touch them lightly...
With fingertips I once touched you with...
Just last week I saw your face for the last time...
Just last week I replaced the sheet over your face...
Just last week I called your mother...
Your son is gone...

Drawers of deceit opened...
A will of their own...
Shut just as quickly...
My will...
Sadness abounds...
Denial is prevalent...
It never happened...
I dreamt...
I dreamt...
Memories swirling in the mist..
I walk the empty house...
Going from room to silent room...
Voices carried on the wind...
Conversations of yesteryear...
Angry, hurtful tears...
Shut that door...
Pictures in my head...
Flash to a happier time....
You smile...
We cuddle...
Were those bad, sad times real...
Memories turn to reality...
The painful days...
Agonizing nights...
Did I ever mean anything to you...
Were the tears all lies...
Mine never meant anything to you...
Are you truly gone...
Do you have any regrets...
Was I one of them...

Always you whisper in my mind...
Always and forever...
If I could do it again...
If I could have a second chance...
If I could hold you just one more time...
If I could take it all back...
If I could dry your tears...
If I could stop the ones to come...

It wasn't your fault...
His voice clear as day and bright as night...
I loved you then...
I love you now...
I am so very sorry...
What time does heal...
What memories fade...
May you look upon mine...
Know that I am real...
Know that you were loved...
Know that I will miss you till the day you die...

Only in the here...
Only in the now...
Only in my memory...

Kenneth Ray Sawyer
May 8, 1956
January 23, 2000

It's 11:55 pm and I just finished the dishes. I got a late start on them and as I came out of the bedroom from tucking "My Man" into bed, his oldest son immediately said to me, "Jorie, are you ok?  What's the matter?"

I said, "I'm fine, why?"

He asked, "Why are you up? Why are you starting the dishes so late?"

Without thinking about it, I told him because I didn't want his father to have to wake up in the morning and stumble into a kitchen that was so messy it might attack him upon arrival.  He of course looked at me like I was mad but shook his head and said, "That's cool of you."

As I walked into the kitchen and looked at the ungodly mess, I smiled as I realized that the children in the livingroom were mine and the mess in the kitchen was mine and that the man in the bedroom was mine and that I'd been doing the very same things with the very same man for years upon years. If you'd asked me how I'd felt about this very scene two months ago, I would have run.  If you'd have asked me if this was what I wanted, I would have laughed at the absurdity.

I'm the one who decides what I want for dinner and I either go and buy it, have it delivered or have it made for me.  I'm the one that has the dishes done for me and I'm the one who decides when and where we live and by what means we'll live. I don't get caught up in fads, I DON'T play video games, I don't drink that hot yuppy drink called coffee and I don't do domestic. I don't date men who have children and I keep my options open and the door open wider.

But as I gaze upon the child in the livingroom who failed his Driver's Test today and the very same child who's pain, frustration and disappointment made my own heart silently cry and the child who sits next to his big brother in complete adoration, I realize that I'm more than ok with playing Final Fantasy as a family, drinking coffee made by "My Man", and washing the dishes at close to midnight so that "My Man" wakes up to a fresh start. I realized that I hadn't had this much fun doing laundry ever and I certainly can't remember any time when any man of mine wore my bra on his head in the laundry room nor placed my other bra on my head so that we had matching "helmets". I realized that this is much closer to "family life" than I've ever cared to have and while I still refuse to cook, I'm probably a lot more domestic minded than I've ever been before. I also had quite a shock when I realized that not only am I totally ok with this but that I'm enjoying it as well. WTF?!

What happened to Jorie? Who kidnapped Jorie and where is she now; because this Jorie isn't the same Jorie that looked back at herself in the mirror two months ago. 

Stranger things have happened?.........maybe..............

Wishing you all a.........

Full of many blessings and hope!

)O(

I hadn't seen my baby sister in 2 years.  I'm not sure which was more satisfying:

A - The look on her face when she saw that I'd lost 100 pounds

B - The look on her face when I told her I was a witch

C - The look on her face when I told her I was dating a Born Again Christian!

Yee F'n Haw!!