A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow he swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He eats everything in sight, the little pig. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff. "He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now? he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first."

A Woman's Poem

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake
He said my biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue
Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him...
Like his mother used to do

Sent to me by MANDRAKE

****************

Thank goodness I don't have one of this type........but then I would never know cuz I never go into the kitchen!!

I was CRAVING Mexican food for breakfast and nothing is open at 5 am so I went and bought myself a 7 layer party dip and some Tostitos.....

YUMMMMMY

Well, if this wasn't an interesting weekend!!

Birthday party for my ex-husband's wife's older son.  He turned 21. They played their own music with their own band. I've never heard such Gawd-awful screeching in my life!  I wanted to howl like a hound dog!

Drunk, no I take that back, VERY drunk, obliterated drunk son. Between Doug and I there's 6 kids. Fortunately it was only one of them and unfortunately it wasn't the one who will actually be 21 next month. The kids were told that they may have ONE drink and unfortunately this child forgot his Kindergarten math! He managed to do this right under our noses. Other than his own decision to do this, I take responsibility for it as well. I was busy keeping Doug "occupied" and neither of us noticed the drinking going on. He doesn't process alcohol and doesn't pass out. It took us 3 hours to get him to fall asleep inbetween rages, rants and amourous attempts. He peed right next to his best friend while he was sleeping. Fortunately he missed him!!

We're moving again in another 5 weeks. I'm actually looking forward to this one. It's in the same complex where we are now so the move will be a breeze! We'll be moving from a 2 bedroom to a 3 bedroom and there will actually be a hallway between our bedroom and the living room. As of now, the 2 bedrooms are off of the living room and even with the bedroom door shut, it's like sitting right there in the living room. There literally is no place in this apartment that is quiet and I NEED quiet to remain sane. Too much noise overloads my senses, part of my ADD and it drives me nuts. When I get overloaded, I get grumpy.  Not good for a family of 8!!!

All in all, inspite of the family drama, I had a great weekend with my Sweetheart! I'm a luck lady and I know it!!

Namaste

)O(

PS - Ghostrider was excellent!!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

OMG, you have got to read Joriesfollylol's rant! (click HERE) I'm not sure he's aware of the March 31st holiday which is National Blow Job Day. I could say the same things about Blow Jobs every other day of the month but being as I love to give them as much as I do, March 31st just gives me a reason for doing an extra special one with all the bells and whitstles. Mark it on your calendar, Babe. By the way, it also coinsides with Caesar Chavez day which is a holiday at the university and so I have the entire day off to either rest up or talk him into staying home with me so I can "celebrate" the entire day with him!!

I am, however, by far, one of the luckiest women alive. I get bubblebaths, footrubs, bodyrubs, ice cream, handholding, morning cuddles, hot sex, candles, cooked for, and the most beautiful blue eyes staring back at me that one could ever imagine; on a daily basis. JFL is right, it gives all the other schmucks out there an excuse and I'm very fortunate to not have one of those schmucks, I HAVE THE BEST!!  I love you, too, Babe!!!

P.S. The rabbit is very much alive!!  Yay!!

That damn rabbit had better not die!!.................................

Things are a chang'n in my corner of the world and my layer of the universe........

Noah called me Tuesday and said he'd found a roomate and that I needed to be out by this weekend.

Am madly packing while attempting fruitlessly to not overdo it due to the recent Pneumonia.........yeah right!

Am not upset by the lack of notice at all. I'll save money and be out of a tense home-situation.

Am moving in with Doug aka Joriesfollylol and am loving every minute of it, even when he's a stinker!

You know I'm kidding when I call him a "Stinker" if you've read my recent blogs. I couldn't be a luckier Lass!

The down side is that I now live in Godforsaken, BFE, Chino of all places. If you can't find me, I'll have gotten lost in a cow pasture somewhere!

The drive is the same if not a bit shorter on the time so that part isn't so bad. I do need to be out of Chino by summer though as I don't tolerate heat very nicely.........Lass does not play nice when it's hot!! lol

"Our" lease is up in April and we hope to find either more suitable living quarters or a different city shortly thereafter.

My kids will attend the same school so there's no worries in that department although I can tell my son is toying with the idea of going to school in Chino. That's fine by me as long as one continues to go to school in Long Beach so I can still use the fast lane! lol

Ok, I've taken a long enough break, back to work for me!

Sorry I've been a putz about getting to your sites. I hope to do better when the dust settles!

Namaste

)O(

Spoiled Rotten:

Having a hot bath run for me by an incredibly sexy man

Having my back scrubbed by same said incredibly sexy man

Having a pint of Ben and Jerry's delivered to me while in the bath

Eating that pint of Ben and Jerry's with incredibly sexy man

Many thanks to all of you who kept up with my adventures through Joriesfollylol's page!! Here's the LINK to catch up if you need to.  To make a long story short, I was admitted to the hospital on Monday afternoon with Pneumonia. What we thought were flu symptoms ended up being a total surprise and a blessing in disguise. I woke up Friday morning with a sore throat, assumed it would go away and got on with my day. Saturday rolls in and I feel like crap and I assumed that Sunday I would feel better as time went on. By Monday afternoon I was begging for a bullet. I got a doctor instead, damit! lol  We were headed out to an Urgent Care facility and by pure blessing couldn't find it and settled for an Emergency Room instead. An IV, Chest X-ray and blood/urine test later, I was being admitted for Pneumonia. Had I gone to the Urgent Care as intended, they would have treated the symptoms of ear infection, sore throat, cough and Urinary Tract Infection but not done the Chest X-ray and not caught the Pneumonia. I also had another mass on my left lung which the docs weren't sure was Pneumonia related, blood clot or something entirely different. I'm being treated by Asprin Therapy incase it's a clot and will have more Chest X-rays done after the Pneumonia is gone to see if it's dissipated or not. I will continue treatment as appropriate at that time. I still feel like death on a hotplate but I'm feeling very blessed (DeathsBlessing LOL) to have been taken to Emergency instead of Urgent Care. Again, many thanks to all of you who posted in support of me on Joriesfollylol's page!!

You know, during times like this, you really get to know your "partner" and it shows their true colors in high definition! I've had boyfriends, who when I was sick, were nowhere to be seen. Doug is absolutely amazing and I felt truly blessed to have had him catapulted into my life the way he was....or I was, his! :] He made it a point to go through my things at home and bring to the hospital what he anticipated I might need and what he couldn't find of mine, he brought of his own so that I would be as comfortable as possible. I was blown away to see him give up his own stuff to bring to me incase I needed it. And of course every girl hopes for flowers when she's in the hospital, but many men have been known to let them down, not Joriesfollylol! He didn't bring flowers, he did much better! When we were first doing the "courting dance", one of our inside jokes was that when one had a question about the other and asked, the answer was, "how many strawberries and kisses is it worth to you to find out the answer?" "Doug, how many times have you driven to San Francisco on vacation? Well, Moonlit, how many strawberries and kisses is it worth to you to find out?"  And so the dance went. Doug came to the hospital with a brand new pair of pajamas for me that had strawberries and kisses on it. How absolutely cool is that? Way better than flowers any day! You rock, Doug, you're the best at bedside manners........among other things!!!

Thank you, Doug for everything you've done for me and for every day that you've spent with me!

Again, many thanks to all of you for your support, well wishes, healing energies, blessings, thoughts and prayers! You guys rock!