Ever since I had my surgery my husband has been riding my ass to eat better, get in shape and be healthy again. On the 5th of January I started a high protein, low carb, not no carb but low carb diet. I’ve been feeling better, doing well and proud of myself. I’ve asked him time and time again to stop frying my eggs in bacon fat. The fat just drips off the eggs. For someone who wants me to get healthy, he’s not helping me! GRRRR

*****

I’m driving the Limo for the first time tonight and scared shitless!!

One of the angels I’m so grateful for!

Dear Scott and Sandy,

I just wanted to tell you what a fantastic employee you have in Christina Muller. In 2007 and 2008 I was out for 8 months battling two different types of Cancer. My husband was unemployed and I was worried sick about how I would handle the details of my insurance coverage and whether I would lose it, disability and having enough money to make it through my time off on top of worrying about a life-threatening illness and how it would affect my children and family members.

Chris completely took the ball and ran with it. She became known as “Saint Chris” between my husband and I. We literally could not have gotten through it without her help. As it was we lost our home, my kids had to go and live with relatives, my pets went to friends, both my vehicles were repossessed and all my personal belongings were packed up and sent to storage. I went through chemotherapy and radiation on an air mattress in a friend’s spare bedroom. If I’d had to deal with worrying about financial and insurance details on top of all that I would have been even more of a basket case!

Chris made sure my checks were ready on time, she called me with the amounts each month so that I would know what to expect and told me or my husband where to pick them up. She recruited people to donate their CAT leave knowing what our situation was, she obtained permission for a second CAT leave donation letter to be sent out and each time she knew there would be more donations she called me at home to let me know that there was more help on the way and much, much more. I never once asked Chris to do any of that for us, she did it out of the extreme kindness of her heart and her personal dedication to doing a job well done. Chris and I had never met before and I have never been so touched by another’s kindness and willingness to go the extra 10 miles for a total stranger. I literally would have had a much harder time getting through that tough time without her help! I included that tid-bit at the top about my situation so that you could see what an extreme help Chris was throughout our ordeal.

I sincerely hope that Chris will be acknowledged for her hard work, dedication to doing a great job and wonderful kind heart as she so deserves it!

Sincerely,

Megan Wampler

For some reason I’ve been totally in tune and really proactive the Cancer Survivors Network and I’m not sure why. Well for one I view it as a way to give back to others that are struggling with the same things I went through but I think there’s other subconsious reasons too that I’m not totally aware of at this point. I’ve really been reading up on people’s diagnosis and been tuned into the success stories of people who have had or are Stage IV which is the final stage. Also, the other night I received a message from out of nowhere. Except I know better. It’s either a message from the Gods or from my guardians including the Universe, but the message was, “You need to work on getting Doug into a full time position so that if you get sick again you don’t lose everything again.” Hmmmmm, not very comforting. I also called HR to ask how disability would work should I need it again so soon. I didn’t call because I was worried but because I felt compelled to know the answer. I know that I’m at high risk for a reoccurance because I’ve already had cancer 3 times. I’m kind of assuming that because of the message and my innate draw towards people’s success story for Stage IV that my psyche is gearing up for another battle. If it is, so be it, I’ll listen to my inner feelings, ramp up and fight with all I’ve got. If not, I’ll use my draw to help others. Not that I’m putting it out there for the cancer to return but I’ve got to be realistic as well. We’ll see how this plays out.

Next time you make a wish, Megan, wish for what is, because really and truly, things don’t get much better than this.

There is a purpose, a plan, and a reason for all things. What doesn’t make sense, will make sense. You are exactly where you should be; your challenges are what they should be; your rewards are what they should be; and the best is yet to come. Time has served you well. Love is in the air. And you’re looking mighty good in the light that now surrounds you.

A toast to life… to you… to us…
    The Universe

My story is….. HERE

Unfortunately the website required a sign in so I’ve copied and pasted my story below.  This is from the Cancer Survivor’s Network which is my “support group” so to speak.

MoonDragon’s Moon

About MoonDragon

Joined on

June 16 2005

Most Recent Activity

Friday 01 02 2009

My relationship to cancer

I have had a cancer diagnosis
I am no longer in treatment for cancer
I have had a cancer recurrence or metastasis
I lost a family member to cancer

Gender

female

Age Range

40-49

Personal web page

MoonDragon’s Moon

How and when did you learn about your cancer?

I was diagnosed with colon cancer in January of 2000. I’d been bleeding and having symptoms that I flat out ignored for the past 7 years. When I couldn’t ignore it anymore I had a sigmoidoscopy done in December of 1999. The tumor pretty much jumped up and shook my hand. I then had a colonoscopy to see what lurked around the bend. Fortunately it was just the one tumor. I had my tumor removed on January 11, 2000. I named her Carol after my really nasty boss.I was told at that time that no radiation or chemotherapy were necessary. I wonder now if that was true?
****
Update October 2007
My Cancer has returned in the very same location as the first tumor. I am now resting at home after my second resection. I am very uncomfortable and body functions are not resuming to normal working order.
****
Update February 2008
The night before my last chemotherapy session: more cancer was found in my Gallbladder on the inside, so it was not considered a metastasis but another entirely new cancer site.
****
Update January 1, 2009
I am no longer in chemo or radiation. I had two major surgeries within a 4 month period of time and it was pretty touch and go for awhile. I’m now happy to say that I’m doing much, much better. I’ve had several CT/PET scans with no new evidence of disease and my CEA has gone from a 2.2 to a 0.5. I have my next set of blood tests at the end of the month. In the research I’ve done, I would normally have a 63% chance of survival in the next 5 years. My oncologist has knocked it down to a 50% due to the Gallbladder cancer. I don’t care. If I’m here, I’m here, if I’m not, I’m not and it’s the quality of what I do with the rest of my life that matters, not how long it is. I could live 60 years and do nothing with my life, I could live 4 years and make a difference in a lot of lives. Which is more important? I think we all know!

Do survival rates and time really matter at all?

I’ve come to realize in my journey and watching the journey of my now deceased best friend, Bud Harbarger (Bud Martin to those of you who know him here), that time really does not make any difference at all. When it’s your time, it’s your time and no prediction of survival rate matters at all. Bud was in the final stages of his cancer and 3 months before he passed away he had a really bad RV accident. The doctors said he shouldn’t have lived through it. He did live through it only to pass away 3 months later. He said to me, “Meg, I thought my last living memory was going to be of all my Jelly Bellys swirling around my head as I tumbled through the RV.” He did indeed live to bless us all with 3 more months of “Bud”. All the research in the world isn’t going to make a bit of difference if it isn’t your time. I used to really stress about the amount of time that I had left and the fact that I have 6 children that would ultimately be left behind, but in the end none of that matters. If it’s not my time, no amount of cancer is going to kill me. If it’s my time it could very well be the cancer that kills me, or quite possibly something else. Just because I battle cancer doesn’t mean it’s a death sentence. It might be the means to the end and it might not. I might die next week or I may die at 108. I’ll die when I’m meant to die and not a moment before then just as Bud did.

What has been the most important part of my cancer recovery?

Giving back, plain and simple. I lost EVERYTHING in the last two battles of cancer. I lost my home, my children had to go and live with relatives, my pets went to friends and family, my material comforts got packed up and sent to storage, both my vehicles were repossessed, we literally lost everything. Through this entire time of Hell on earth I was without a doubt watched over. My friend offered my husband and I her spare bedroom, people we didn’t even know were making monetary donations and offering the use of their vehicles. I went through chemo and radiation on an airmattress but I had a roof over my head!!! When I hit a certain point in my recovery, I knew it was time to give back. I’ve been doing volunteer work with the American Cancer Society and have had the most awesome emotional rewards I could have ever had. I was too sick from my own treatment to be able to work at some of the events, but the support from the people involved was a blessing I hadn’t counted on. Ultimately I’d like to find a cancer victim that needs a helping hand. I know I couldn’t have gotten through it without my husband and there were days I could barely lift my head let alone make it to the bathroom without help. I want to help someone that doesn’t have anyone. Do their shopping for them or light house cleaning or something that they can no longer do for themselves. I’ve found that giving back has ultimately been a hugely important part of my own recovery.

What have you learned from your experiences that you would like to share?

We have one life to live and there are no coincidences and there are no second chances. Don’t hold back. Be yourself, be there for someone else, look life in the eye and give it your best shot, no holds barred!

Are there positive experiences you would like to share?

I’ve learned what I can give to others. I learned that I have a valuable gift in being a survivor and that I can share myself with you. That’s all I’ve got, just myself, but I’m yours.

What else would you like to tell us?

The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was sit down with my 14 year old son and tell him that I was going in for cancer surgery, that I had no idea of the outcome, no idea if I was going to be here in 3 months, 6 months, a year or more. I wanted him to know everything from the very beginning. If he was going to have to grieve, I wanted to be there to help him through whatever I could. I can’t tell you how fortunate I feel to be given the gift of another breath for another day with another hug for my kids, my family and my friends. **** The above was from the first battle. My answer has stayed the same with the last two battles. That 14 year old child is now 23 and it was no easier to tell him the last two times. I never told my younger children the first time around but I had to tell them this time. There is nothing that changes or mitigates that heartwrenching moment. It is what it is.

For the record: I HATE the editing box they’re making us use now. It’s crap compared to the old one. Just thought you’d all want to know!

I put together my alter yesterday. I finally feel like I’ve moved in. I literally had a pile of crap on top of my dresser that was almost a foot high of stuff that I just couldn’t find a place for. I put it all away and put out a really pretty lace table cloth, folded to the right size of my dresser. I put up my Guardian Candles, my God and Goddess candles, symbols for earth, air, fire and water in the appropriate corners, symbols of the three Goddesses that work with me, flowers for Persephone who is the feminine girl in me who brings out my love of nature, an Ankh for Isis who is my Mother protector and a cute little ceramic pig for Cerridwen who is my Crone and teaches me wisdom. I put a dragon next to my caldron in the south as dragon is with me always to guide and protect. I put a plate and chalice out for libations, a bank with coins in it and water that has been charged for weightloss and health; the things I need to work on this year. In the middle of the altar are the vows I made to learn, share, lead and service where I am needed as a goddess of the craft. Infront of that is the pentacle I made that has the different symbols of the elements and what they mean to me. It also has my craft name on it. I dedicated the altar to all those who have made me what I am, who have walked with me in times of trouble and those who continue to watch over me. I gave thanks for all that I was, all that I am and all that I will be.

I am home.

I spent New Year’s Eve alone and that was ok. Doug was asked to work at the last minute and we need the money so badly that I was glad to tell him to go. I really missed him and we talked on the phone when midnight came but overall it wasn’t bad. I put out the same spread I always do even though it was just me and enjoyed the evening with a movie.

I’ve been house sitting my boss’s dog, Valentine and she went home today. She’s a sweet dog but I was glad to see her go. She’s used to having a doggy door and so we had quite a few accidents in the living room. She just didn’t understand the concept of going outside to go potty. She was finally starting to get the hang of it before she left but three dogs is one dog too many for our small house.

Yesterday we spent the day with Doug’s cousin, Michelle up at Wilderness Lakes in Menifee. It’s the perfect camping place and I’d love to go back. The problem is that Doug works most weekends and that would leave me to camp by myself with 5 kids. Hmmmmmm, thinking about that one!

I’ve thieved the idea of this type of blog from Dae cuz I thought it was an awesome idea!

“Go to the first entry of every month of the past year.  Use actual entries with sustenance, not quizzes or the such. take the first line (or the first important line) off of that entry, and then post ‘em here.”

January
Well, things have certianly taken a mighty strange turn…………

I’m now
Homeless
Jobless
Childless and
Petless
***
Well, it’s certainly good to see that things have changed. What a middle of Hell that was! I was going through chemotherapy, radiation and not sure if my life was going to end up being ashes in the wind. I’m happy to say that while I’m not considered out of the woods by any means, I’m at the moment cancer free and Doug and I are now in our own place, I have my daughter living with me again and not only do I have all my pets back, we’ve added to our menagerie!

February
Still feel like shit, but on the positive side…………………..